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Yours, Mine and Ours

For those of you that don’t know first-hand, being in a band is an experience unlike no other.

 It is no surprise that the band environment is a veritable powder keg of not only mind-blowing cohesion, creativity and synchronicity, but of regrets, bitter acrimony and downright hatred. While I won’t say *all* of the best bands straddle that knife-edge of violence in pursuit of great art, but the anecdotal evidence suggests a great many number of them have. Simon and Garfunkel, Jagger and Richards, Ray and Dave Davies and of course, where would this short list be without the Gallagher brothers?


Creatively speaking, these pairings produced their fair share of gems, thereby making the tension pay off in the end.


But what happens when tension happens and there is no saving grace? Therein lies the problem.


(Allow me to preface this by stating, in its present configuration, I love my band. They are, to a person, the most thoughtful, creative and easygoing folks I have ever made noise with…

Uncomfortable Truths for the Rock Musician (in no particular order)

Guitarists – If you think your amp is “loud enough” it is TOO loud. If you think your amp is too loud, it’s WAY too loud.

Guys - Although tempting, do NOT have sex with your bandmates. Especially the female singer, because that NEVER works out…EVER.

Ladies – Same goes for you, remember for every Stevie Nicks, there is a Meg White.

Guitarists/Bassists – If your axe covers your nipples you need to join a Fusion band instead.

Guitarists – If you think your solo is “long enough” it is TOO long. If you think your solo is too long, then it is WAY too long.

If you have to ask the crowd if they have “had enough yet”, they have.

In the context of Rock music, the word “Bass” should almost NEVER be followed by the word “Chord” or the word “Solo”

Drummers – Your kit does NOT have a volume knob (if only…). Remember this simple formula: Marshall Stack>Drums>Acoustic Guitar.

The audience applauding loudly after you announce “This is our last song” is NOT a compliment.

It’s hard to take the band out of …